God is Sovereign

Mum and I are listening to an old Roger Price series on tape (yes, tape!) about the characters of God, and today we listened to “God is Sovereign”. We learnt that whatever God does, whether we like it or not, it is the right thing and we shouldn’t question him. After all, he is God!

This really spoke to me. I have given my illness over to God, and now I need to trust in him. Whether he wants me to get better or worse, it is his will and I need to learn to remember that he is God, and who am I to question what he does! Of course I want to be healed, of course I want to wake up tomorrow completely better. But that may not be God’s will.

In Psalm 115 v 3 it says, “Our God is in the heavens, and he does what he wishes.” God can do whatever he wants, he has complete sovereignty over everything. But he always acts out of love, he cannot do anything that isn’t of love.

It is going to take time to be able trust God completely, but I am going to keep asking him to be in control of my life everyday. It’s a journey of faith.

My Days At Home Aren’t Wasted

God gave me a reassurance today that my days at home are not wasted. I am learning and growing in my faith, and having that faith will come in very handy when I am older!!!

I can’t see people very much, but God still provides ways that I can witness to other people, by msn or the internet. (To be honest its a lot easier witnessing over the internet that in person!!!)

So although sometimes I may feel like I am not doing much, what I am learning now will help and guide me later in life!

The Holy Spirit Prays Through Us

‘Brain Fog’ is a common  symptom of ME,  where we can’t concentrate, forget what we are doing, ect… It can be quite comical at times!

My Brain Fog is worse on some days than others, and on the days when it is bad I find it hard to concentrate on praying, or I get my words muddled up! I was reminded of this verse yesterday:

“And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the spirit is praying, for the spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s will.” Romans 8 v 26-27

It’s so encouraging to know that even if I get my words muddled up when praying, God knows exactly what is on my heart! If I pray the wrong thing, the Holy Spirit will change my words so that they make sense.

If I am finding it hard to concentrate I can just come before God and ask the Holy Spirit to pray through me, and he will!

About Me

My name is Abbey and I am nearly 13. I have had ME for 4 years, more severely for the past year. I have had my up's and down's and I am sure that there are more to come, but through it all I can be certain that Jesus is with me, holding my hand all the way.

When a friend suggested that I keep a blog about the things that God is teaching me, I thought it was a brilliant idea! God has taught me so many things during my illness, especially in the past year. I hope that by writing about the things I learn it will encourage other people going through similar situations.

I first became ill with M.E when I was about 9, but it has been gradual onset for me so at first I was virtually healthy. I slowly got worse and was diagnosed with the illness when I was 10. I remained between 70-90% in the ME Functional ability scale (here) until September 2008, when I started Secondary School full time. This was obviously too much for me, and although I managed a term at school, I soon had a big relapse and was down to 25% on the ability scale by the following June. I was housebound, unable to sit up at the table for meals, and wasn’t well enough to see anyone. But it was during this time that my relationship with God increased dramatically.

Although health is important, and I long for the day when I will be well again, having a close relationship with God is much more important. I know that the things I have learnt whilst being at home will help me later on in life.

It is now almost a year later, and I am up to 45% on the ability scale. It may not seem like a lot for people who don’t suffer with ME, but the recovery from this illness is a VERY slow process, and for me it’s a big difference. I still have a long way to go, but I take every step knowing that God is right beside me, leading the way. That’s the silver lining in the cloud of ME.

 

For more information on M.E, please visit www.ayme.org.uk